Love Yourself

"You can search the entire universe for who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are
yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, as much as anybody
in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." -Dhyan
Chand (Indian Hockey Player)

I met this girl on a trip to Delhi. She was a beautiful girl, her hair
lustrous, I told her that anybody would be envious of her beautiful smile. And
she blushed. One evening she told me that she has no love for her long and
shiny hair. She was thankful, but never admired it for reasons unknown.
She explained, "her smile was just to hide the storms gone by."

That day I realized that I wasn't alone this world who face the problem of
loving oneself. How much she hated her skin that people could only read it's
colour before peeping into the pureness of her thoughts.  Of course, she
loved and admired her every part, but the love for herself, just like her body,
was never whole. She smiled for every other person in the world, I wondered
when was last she smiled and appreciated herself.

"If self-love would be a song, I would sing it all day long"
Priyanka Verma

As I  am growing from a little girl into the women I always wanted to
be, I embrace the journey that took me from 18-year-old innocent girl to the
raging 25-year-youthful-woman.  This little journey changes a whole lot of
things- from birthdays to bills, from pocket-money to the first salary, from being
a homie to being self-dependent. From being updated on social media to being
updated about surroundings and the self, from 200 friends to a handful to laugh
with. Much of the things change in life. But one thing that remains with you
after all the battles fought and all the dreams conquered, all the people that
faded and other hundreds that emerged-amongst all, one thing that stood the
ravages of time and perhaps one the best lessons learned was that of -
"SELF-LOVE."

When I say battles fought, I count the ones that left deep scars on just not
your skin, but also somewhere deep in your mind. The one that lasted longer
than you thought, and the ones that you fought with yourself. When I say dreams
conquered - I speak of the ones that you were on the verge of giving up. The
ones that hurt you like broken pieces of glass, the dreams that took away the
peace and landed you on the island of challenges, the ones that made you restless
even in your sleep. People, let's face it, whom you always counted on and ones
who didn't deserve a bit of it.

Loving yourself can hard sometimes, especially when you have what the world calls "Scars". You let the world influence so much on yourself that you begin treating it like one, without even realising it's not just the scar but also the title of battles won. Of all those times when they mocked at your accent, and you have held yourself upright and laughed together because you understand if they would have been you, they wouldn't be any different. You've carried the past that burnt you, and you are carrying your future, you carry dreams that you embrace and you carry darkness. You are both the positives and negatives. Half of the world lives on claiming positives and the other half blaming themselves for their negatives. What lies in the midst people often fail to understand is "KINTSUGI"  that cracks too, can be filled, that it's from where the light enters, that it's what makes you shine. 
Fill it with diamonds of S-E-L-F-L-O-V-E. 

Some words to live by:-

*Don’t beat yourself up, that will erode your self-esteem. Be a kind and a
supportive friend of yourself instead.

*Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this
situation? Speak to yourself kindly and guide yourself like a little kid. After
all,  you deserve self-affection.

*Stop blaming yourself for your failures and fucked up life. Stop running
after success, start building yourself. Success is just an apex, entire
journey, the failures, and the mistakes you made are the things that shape you
to reach the top.

*With the crisis, comes opportunity. But important is to build
yourself every day so that when opportunity knocks, you don't stand there
empty-handed.

VANTAGE POINT

VANTAGE POINT

I sing very comfortably
From my Vantage point
Where the music emanates
From empty shells
The sea, and the bells.

The sky threading on tunes of violin



Sunsets woven beautifully
On the coquetry of twilight

Where neither the night touches
Nor the day soothes
But, dangles always somewhere in between
Black and white,
Broken, with pieces intact
Together, yet shattered
Voices rising calmly
As not to awake the demons hiding

I sing comfortably
from my vantage point
Where the air loosens her hair
Where the sunrays peep in
And imprint symphonies on her skin

With coffee mug still
on window sill
And novels, yet to be explored
I stand where mountains cold
Melt into strings of eddying rivers
Dipping my feet into that abyss
Singing comfortably,
from my vantage point

Thee shalt not asketh for love, For thee art grown up now

What this body is

But a mosaic of broken elements

Of collapsed stars and gleaming galaxies

What art thou hold?

That you grow only from outside

And still, longs for that tender touch

Yet vulnerable,

So vulnerable on the inside!

With broken knees and bleeding elbows

Again it makes way to join broken cerols

Running miles to touch the sky

When all it was, but a kite

What this body is?

But, an aftermath of a storm

A consequence of catastrophe

With tattered bones and fragmented soul

Collecting drops in cupped hands

From broiling sun to save its world

The one set on fire, not by strangers



What this body is...

But a few hundred pieces of

Crystals glued together, or

Just a Symphony emanating from

Woven strings of sunsets and moonlight

I told my pieces and

explained my heart

"Thee shalt not asketh for love

For thee art grown up now"

What this body is

Broken and beaten

From pieces to ashes

Still asketh for a pinch of care

For shades of warmth in scorching despair!

I explained my heart

"You shall not ask for love

For you, are a grown up now!"

Hots:

1. Thee shalt not asketh for love for thee art grown up now - You are grown up now, for you shall not ask for love.


2. Cerol- Thread used for flying kites (Manjha in India)

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POST EXPIRING SOON

SCARCITY IS WHAT SHAPES US ...

Ever wondered what’s the basic force that moulds an individual? Why some children are profligate while others are frugal. Why, what’s invaluable for one, is a dream for another. Why things one take for granted becomes a blessing for another. Many a time we even heard parents complaining, “They don’t understand the value of things we provide them. We want to teach our child value of education, the value of dance or karate classes, the value of a penny or at times, even value of love and trust.” And why just children, sometimes we as a person also fail to realize the real treasures of our life.

That’s the psychological fact, what people get the most they start to have an aversion towards it. When you have your family, you seem to shirk off their pieces of advice, the rules that parents and teachers teach seems as barriers, however, once we move to new city or town we start realising the value of their presence. Want to know the cost of these rules- ask the one who never felt that soft touch of soothing hands on his forehead, one who never have had the joy of guiding fingers to start his day when he moves out every morning to earn his breath for the day, for food. When in school those little moments where our teachers pointed to even that little screeching sound made by our shoes. Augh! How irritating it seemed. But I was truly amazed when I heard the fact that great leaders are known to leave an impact in everything they do, even when they walk!

Not only in personal life, Scarcity holds its root even at more economic, social and financial backgrounds. Think about the lines you read at first. Yes-"Post expiring soon." And next, you know what happened. Investors do it, businessmen do it,  salesperson applies the same rule before they put out the board "Sale ending soon" signboard. In fact, there's a complete psychological reactance theory given by Sharon Brehm and Jack Brehm- "When an individual's freedom to engage in specific is threatened, the threatened behaviour becomes more attractive." That is why when politicians mention energy control, prices of petroleum and diesel roar. So next time before you order some limited model of your favourite bike, remember how it's manufacturer is playing at your subconscious level. But that's also how the society works.

So just start relishing those beautiful little moments that you own in your life, and remember scarcity is trying to teach you something. It'll grow out of you- either today or tomorrow, but for sure, it will.

 

I never knew that even scarcity of it

Would grow out of me

I mean, just look how love unfolds

And wraps me all around …

 

Who, If Not You

As the flower knows 

When its butterfly will return 

And the earth knows when the rain

But knows not that if it'll be

Withered soon, if not into bits

By hands that swayed mighty will

 

As the flower knows

So do I, will stand by gilded stones

To watch return,

Who, if not you?

Half-fadeth, half-etiolated

Who, if not me?

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Being 20 [Forever]

Being 20 [Forever]…

 

It was just yesterday that I read somewhere “Things to know before you turn 20” and that ‘yesterday’ turned out to be nearly 2 years until I realized that I’m left with my last 20 days to be that ‘20’s-Thing’. So I’m gonna talk about all those things that make me realize how being 20 actually feels and what spending 20 successful years of our life in a place called Earth.

Some Facts:

1)   By now every person who reached the age 20 has spent 182,688 hours, (including 144 extra hours for one’s born in 1996 of leap days!), 10,961,280 minutes and now I won’t converting it to seconds by writing such a large figure to scare you.

2) The world average life expectancy for 20 years old is 68.35 years.

3)  At the age 20, an average of 99,105 only survives. Congrats! You are one!!

 We are the opposite of “Being Struck”:

A few years ago, there was a transition point where we left our schools and began a new journey to be a Youth, travelling all the way from our middlescence which was the world full of confusions, mixed-feelings-emotions and mind-boggling questions, and 1 day we would probably end up working extra hours at office, being away from family when everyone would be enjoying during festive seasons. Living a hard-core boring adult life and few more years, getting married and then bingo! Dropping kids to school.

So if you ever think you’re being struck in 20’s than Congrats!! Because nothing could be sweetest than being struck in this age. Of course, everything's gonna be astounding even after our 20’s, but then:

Don’t you think you will miss-?

1.) Experimenting New hairstyles, following latest trends, having the stylish beard or those last night makeups and taking selfies with early morning messy hair.

2.) The best point to make everyone feel Jealous: (Probably yours favourite). Everyone younger than you (high school age) and everyone older than you (mid-life crisis) think you’re cool and is jealous of your life.

3.) A constantly moving life, where once all you want to do was travel and travel--at most times for no reason at all and that was good too!

Moreover, you could take extended periods of time off work to “travel” and people would applaud for it.

 “I just turned 26 and the part about older people (who are established) being a bit envious of me is slightly comforting! It's a wild ride for sure, and I always say we get our best looks and hot dates and fewer responsibilities in payment for the uncertainty, stress and small paychecks :)”

4.) Make Mistaking-The best thing about being 20 was that you could make lots of them!! Be it about career or even about new hairstyle and the best part-‘you could always return’.

At least, there won’t be any boss who would blow the files off your face for making them_Where you were your own Boss!!!

5.) Being no more in our youth-essence which is usually a time of self-doubt and readjustment and time where we grew from being hurt by a blunt blade to walking out with a tougher skin. 

6.) Being Free: You are a raw nerve! The only person you need to seek approval from is you! See and feel as much as you could and as much you wanted to. All of the time and decisions were all your own. What you want, whom, where and how you want-All Yours.

7.) Toxic people:  “Three things cannot be hidden for long—The Sun, The Moon, and the Truth”. The various folds of time have, by now, already broken all those fake delusions of what we thought was real, and made you what truly matters if not for them, then for us. You know such toxic stuff are not worth your time. You know they are around you for their ulterior motives. So you just let them go!

8.) Your Worth: Once you let such ambidextrous people out of your life, you love yourself the most. Love, for everything that you are and everything you possess- your family, your work, your passion, your parents (Even your younger bro becomes integral who once was an anthropoid for you).It’s as refreshing as new love.

9.) Young-ly Young: We’re not in our 'teens-something' where we need to get home by ‘#-hour’ nor so old enough be dizzy on the dance floor.

10.) Just young enough to be on the dance floor till the music stops!! Even if have to go to work 3 hours later. Going mad, who knows which one would be our last?

11.) Flamboyant You!! {My favourite and I know yours too!}

I mean just look at yourself, feel that tightness of the skin. We’re truly in the prime of our lives. No pimples, no wrinkles-- and to make things better we could use heels daily without looking weird, afford makeup and a decent hairstylist too.

If you’re a man-- joining the gym and carving out the best look in suits completes your perfection.

When you’re older you’ll want all of this so badly!😍

12.) Hot Dates and Falling in Love: It would be an incomplete picture if I won’t include this point here. I read “You could go out on numerous dates, hang out with ones who match your level of awesomeness”. Probably the best age to find your love because by now we’re mature enough as compared to when we were teens and not that desperate for someone.

But still, like me, you can always opt to be beautifully single even after getting 14 proposals in a month. We always have a choice and that’s what being 20’s is like, right!

"Life is fleeting. I had a lovely time, especially in the early years – dancing on beaches in the moonlight and at illegal raves watching the sun come up. I will always look back fondly on those times. I sometimes miss the spontaneity and joy of being 21, the endless possibilities and capacity for friendship."

credit:https://www.theguardian.com

And as this time is passing, I’m counting it pass by, like falling grains of sand—it’s like losing our 2nd childhood and growing up to be something more concrete, something more strong. Someone with the energy of a teenager but also someone more responsible.

These were the real treasures of being 20 which even I wouldn’t have realized if I would have not taken the time to look back & blog it.

So this was all about being-your-last-20, but I can assure is to be as childish, as young, as playful and to be as-20 as ever—Choice is always our's, remember!!

Which one is your favourite, probably one which you'll always miss as being 20, let me know via comments below... :)

Grains Of Sand

Grains Of Sand...
Silver upon beaches 'n stiff on Mountains.
Shattered, yet dimensioned into a memorial,
As such I held my pieces together
Like Grains of Sand,
Untill the cold breeze 
Wafted my hollow soul.

The Calendar Of Your Life

This New Year recreate your Life with the new Calendar-of-your-life, The Life You didn't realize You Actually Had...

The Life You Didn't Realize You Actually Had...

There was a day when you were just a toddler...to the day when you enjoyed that little batch on your shoulder which read 'Class Captain'.

And finally the day came when the transition occurred from a shy school student to the dynamic-young-You in college where the chocolate toppings in coffee sketched the long discussions at midnight, chatting with friends which perhaps forgot the fine line between dawn and the dusk, bunking classes, nicknaming teachers, treats, crushes on pals, bike of friends, discussion @ cafe minutes before exams(my personal & perhaps one of my favorites), and having a competition with friends as to who will leave the exam hall first..And then moving to cities for jobs, Tiresome career-years, and infinite-seeming bachelor's life.

There have been so many not-so-memorable but significant moments  in our life for which we longed but then just probably took for granted, as of me, I've always dreamt of being in that beautiful, big school building where my elder cousins used to study and felt as if I was dumped into that comparatively smaller kindergarten building where everything was pretty much the same- were of same little height, and wore the same dress and now, I miss being again in that red-check beautiful skirt.

The day we finally bid farewell to that big building in the city, to the day we celebrated our eighteenth birthday, the day we learned about Newton's laws to be a bearing witness of a turning point in history with the discovery of Higgs-Boson. The day you first drove alone to taking a long trip with friends. Leaving a family home or Opening your first paycheck. Falling in love or getting engaged; Succeeding at work or Watching your parents interact with your child...
-Pretty Much Like Any Other Typical Life.

But one inclement morning where suddenly everything becomes quiet and seems to reach its dead-end. No further mischief with whom we called the gang of hooligans at birthday bumps, no longer following the latest trends, no silly politics. No longer those bursts of laughter at late night bed-stories instead just a bed with the wall painted white and the mourning silence which takes you to all those moments not lived, to things you once did and ones you didn't, all, slowly disappearing into nothingness.

Bad News:

Now, this is the life you've already lived if you are in your early 20's ...

The story that you've lived, the role played, lessons learned and made accomplishments.
Where each page represents 10 days of your life.







And their Life calendar:  

Credit: Tim Urban / Wait But Why
Source:[1][2][3]

But, The Best Part...

You are still remaining with 70 years of  Your life
The part you are left with....
where every page is a day of your life.What I call it to be The Calendar of Your Life.


Throw on it as many colors as you can-Draw, Create, Invent, Explore as its an opportunity to be in, and touch the 'now of your life with integrity.'
Remember, Life isn’t meant to just being your needs met but instead, it is To create.

And this is The Life You didn't realize, You Actually Have...

Separated Of Time

Words Unsaid

Hearing your words unsaid

I wish you could’ve heard

Of what I didn’t said…

The Truth That Was

It's often said, " Artists use lies, to tell the truth..."

Here's one that I tried in this short poem as The Unreliable Narrator, written as a part of  The Poetry Society, UK. 

The Truth That Was

'I was the type of the child

Who gazed at the dark sky

And loved the color purple.'

“That I was beautiful

And would own a prince”

They said at Sunday mornings.

“She held amethyst beneath,

Calm in influence,

Mellifluous in tone and
seraphic her smile

 Always gentle, Always polite."

The truth that was

I will not tell you

why she loved that loneliness.

And would lie all about

the pleasures of being so beautiful.

Those silver beaches which she would reveal

upon her birth, instead those violent storms.

And the one on white horse

who mend her crumbles

Just to, break it into gazillion other pieces.